Many people have complicated relationships with different members of their family and each situation is unique. Some relationships thrive while others do not, and understanding the reasons behind the problem can help you move forward and eliminate frustration.
It’s important to accept that there are two people involved in a relationship, so change and understanding must come from both parties; otherwise, it will be difficult to resolve the issues you’re experiencing and your relationship may not improve.
There are different approaches to each situation and a common one is to try and change the person. This may work if your requests are reasonable and they agree to try and do what is being asked; otherwise, the attempt at a better relationship will fail. The problem with this approach is that many people will not accept that the problem is from their end and when you’re not on the same page, your relationship cannot improve. It’s hard to admit that you need to change or that what you’re doing is affecting the relationship, which is why this approach is not always successful.
Another approach is to accept the person as they are, which many people try when they cannot change the person. This is also a strategy that sometimes works but can also lead to frustration. The main issue with these two strategies is that you can develop feelings of resentment if your needs are not met. When you’re not getting what you want and don’t see even a possibility of improvement, you will have negative feelings towards the other person.
There is a third option to consider and that is to change yourself in a way that solves the problem and allows you to have a relationship with the person. Changing yourself is not easy because you need to adjust your perspective and view the problem as your own and not one caused by the other person. This may require you to change your beliefs, which is never simple, but looking at yourself from another’s perspective may help you become aware of the parts they dislike and you may understand how your way of thinking contributes to the conflict within your relationship. Looking at others for answers may never help you resolve the issues you have but looking inside yourself may provide you with more insight and make the situation easier to resolve.
Whether you have issues with your parents, siblings or any other family member, Daphne Georghiou understands just how frustrating and complicated some of these relationships may be. We are all facing a global pandemic, which can negatively affect your family dynamic. Daphne Georghiou, licensed marriage and family therapist and clinical counsellor, can help families get through this especially difficult time that we are all experiencing. If you’re interested in a family therapist or psychotherapist in the Vancouver area who can help you with your needs, give me a call today to see how psychotherapy can help improve your relationships.